Natalia's journey

In reality our entire family news will be shared through this blog as our baby grows and as we fight cancer.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Looking inward, looking outward

So it took us a few days to cry out all the tears we’ve had, wonder and ponder the ever eternal “why?”, then calm down, think of all the options and make up our minds. It was hard to decide as the doctor’s said I have a 50-70% chance for it to be successful (way too low for my analytical mind). And really, this is the last resort; meaning if it’s not successful then there is not much to be done to CURE. And when I read stories like these I get inspired, yet I feel very skeptical http://www.hodgkinsfoundation.org/index.html or http://www.alesecoco.org/ Nonetheless, I will give this cancer yet another shot and Monday I’ll be checking in to MDA for a higher doze chemo – ESHAP, which takes 5 days so I hope to be back home by Saturday. Raymond will be staying with Andryusha in a hotel nearby (please call him and help him out with the baby if you can).

Anyway, I’ll then have 2 weeks to recoup, then back for another round. You know I am not afraid or scared of anything anymore, I just don’t want any more pain. On the positive note, we are ever grateful for all the charities that are supporting MD Anderson patients. And thanks to our social worker Nancy one of the organizations will provide the hotel for free for 5 days. And we are already planning for the next 3 months. Several churches provide subsidized apartments (at $30 a day which is way less than any hotel around) so we are in the waiting line.

Wish me luck – that I tolerate the ESHAP well but above all that it works (I really need to be in remission before they proceed with SCT to increase my success rate).

P.S.: Thank you for all the e-mails and calls – we appreciate your support, your desire to help. Your love and care strengthens me as I prepare for the big fight ahead. SPASIBO!

13 Comments:

  • At 11:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natalia dearest, I don't know how to write to you other than through the blog. I want you to see this and know that it's everything I wish for you and Raymond and little Andruysha. love, millie

     
  • At 11:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ooops.. I forgot to post the link:
    http://www.mayyoubeblessedmovie.com/

    Watch it when you need to remember how much love surrounds you!

     
  • At 11:27 PM, Blogger Natalia said…

    Thank you Millie! You can always write me at raynat25@yahoo.com

     
  • At 11:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natalia- you are in thoughts and prayers and I love your blog, especially the photos of your beautiful boy. And I found out you like Pink Floyd! "breathe, breathe in the air".

    Love, Melita

     
  • At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natalie,

    We haven't met, but I wanted you to know that you are in our daily prayers. Keep up your wonderful outlook and know that we are all keeping you in our thoughts & prayers.

    Marie

     
  • At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Natalia,

    I just want you to know that I feel a great peace surrounding your situation. I don't know why I am compelled to tell you, but I know I need to do so. Regardless of what the doctors say, all will be fine for you, Raymond, and your precious son. All will be fine. The purpose of this experience in your life will make itself known soon enough. You have a beautiful spirit that is already shining its light on many. May God continue to do his Will through you and your family. You were chosen for something special. You are special. Your husband is special as is your son. I will pray the Long Healing Prayer for you and your family.

    Thank you for being an example to me personally of the spiritual strength we have as mothers, as wives, as women! You are that symbol for me!

    With deep love and admiration,
    The Galvan Family
    Jay, Linda and Asha

     
  • At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Today (May 23) being the Holy Day of the Declaration of The Bab we pray that His Blessings will surround you and stop and purify you from this cancer. We will be in touch. With love ... Mioara, Anisa & Samandar

     
  • At 4:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Privet privet,

    greetings and prayers from Moldova. Please keep us posted.

    Nadeshda, Vera and Lubov

     
  • At 7:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natalia,

    I understand what you are going through as a family we have had to deal with this and it has not been easy. I understand you being skeptical when reading Alese Coco's story, but it is all true. www.alesecoco.org I also want you to know that as a family we are here for you, although you don't know us, we are bonded through sharing very similar journeys. please contact us anytime, and know that they are making so much progress with all the new drugs coming out. Alese has been able to live a normal life with no hair loss or horrible side affects of some of the chemos out there. God Bless you, Love The Coco's www.alesecoco.org

     
  • At 9:01 PM, Blogger Natalia said…

    Hello! Thank you for your kind words of love and hope! I am glad to hear Alese is doing fine. I admire your servitude perseverance and wish I'd have as much optimism about the whole situation as you guys :)
    Most people think SCT is a sure cure for cancer and I thought so too until I faced the reality... that's when I felt very pessimistic but in no way do I let this feeling take over me. Thanks to folks like you I keep fighting!
    Happy 4th of July!

     
  • At 9:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natalia,

    Do you have to get a SCT ? can you start sny clinicl trials? If so Alese is on a trial chemo GND that causes no hair loss and has very little side affects. It is working. I hope this is ok to ask you, please no you can tell me if its not I would understand.

    Bless you Natalia you are in our prayers, and we really are here for you if you need anything at all. Please do not hesitate to call us or if your parents want to call us. Our ph# 310-528-0943

    Love,
    The Coco's

     
  • At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have read Alese's blog and done a tone of research....just last yr I was diagnosed with graves disease and lost my thyroid and just recently noticed several swollen lymph nodes in my neck....I had some test done the other day and my doctor seemed very worried. I got a call last night at 6:30pm asking me to call first thing in the morning....everytime I hear those words its never good news. I called back and here I sit waiting on a call back. In the past yr or so I have really gotten in tune with what my body is telling me and you know deep inside when something is just not right. I am 33 with 3 beautiful kids and one on the way...my wife has been very supportive through my ill health this past yr. To be totally honest I am a bit scared at what they have to tell me. I know life is full of obstacles and everything happens for a reason...but watching my grandmother pass last yr from cancer was a huge event for me...made me re-evaluate my own life. Shortly after my health took a turn. I hope the best for you and your family and my prayers are with you.

     
  • At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natalia:
    I hope your treatment is successful. I am in my 3d occurrence with HD, and...there is always hope, always a direction. Be strong and fight a good fight. Others are pulling for you. jdsams1@aol.com
    Jonathan

     

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