Natalia's journey

In reality our entire family news will be shared through this blog as our baby grows and as we fight cancer.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

My state of the union

Last two months have been difficult … emotionally and physically…. hence, no posts. I want to be the source of encouragement and inspiration to anyone who reads my blog and if I feel down it’s hard to do that. The year started off rough … after Shannon’s passing it didn’t get any easier, only worse as I received the saddest news of Dave and then Sarah; both of them did the transplant along with me (Dave a few weeks after me and Sarah a month after). We connected on invisible level and cheered each other along the way. The unbearable news just hit me hard and I almost went into depression. I felt so vulnerable I had to hide away from my own morbid thoughts and questions of injustice … Andryusha came to the rescue once again and I gladly poured all my love and attention at him especially since Raymond had so much work these past few months. Sarah and Dave will always have a place in my heart for they were incredibly optimistic about life, they loved life and shared it with others around; I was truly blessed to have come in touch with them.

On a bigger scale I am searching for balance in embracing the new life with all adjustments while remembering my long battle and honoring those still going through it. In all honestly, going through treatments is only half the battle; surviving and living happily to the fullest day to day IS winning the battle. Speaking of surviving, I guess I should share the LATEST SCAN RESULTS – ALL CLEAN AGAIN! Yes, still cancer free! But… always seems to be a ‘but…’ my bone density test (DEXA scan) revealed that I’ve become osteopenic since the transplant and now I urgently have to see endocrinologist who can help prevent osteoporosis and possibly reverse the osteopenia. I’ve had the bone pains throughout the year and it has been worse this winder (especially in the knees) but I felt it was such a minor side effect after cancer that it was not worth complaining about. I guess it is now… my doctor also mentioned the possibility of going on hormone replacement therapy since being menopausal also affects the bones. I am interested in finding natural ways to reverse osteopenia and achieve hormonal balance since most of the conventional medications have serious side effects like secondary breast cancer, blood clots, ‘dead jaw’ syndrome,e tc. Please share your suggestions (good and bad). I will update you all once I see endocrinologist at MD Anderson. Until then, let’s focus on all the good we have (friends, family, good weather, and so much more) and celebrate cancer free life! Here is our latest picture from my sister in law’s wedding – it was beautiful and proves that life goes on and it's never too late to enjoy it!